And one of His signs is that He has created for you, spouses from amongst yourselves so that you might take comfort in them and He has placed between you, love and mercy. In this there is surely evidence (of the truth) for the people who carefully think. (30:21)
are you wondering where the love and mercy has gone from your marriage? learn more how I can help gain it back, inshallah.
When you made your promise to each other, you were filled with hope for the future. Now you are wondering what happened and where did that commitment to happiness disappear?
You planned to build a strong foundation, but instead work and life got in the way.
Your differences brought you together, now they are tearing you apart.
You can’t go on this way. You want to stop feeling bitter, disconnected and resentful.
You want to understand each other better, you want your love to grow DEEP.
You want to be nurtured and loved, the way it used to be.
What does healing a relationship look like?
The first step is the most essential step, making a commitment to yourself and making that first call to come in for help can be the most vulnerable step you will make. It will also be the step in the direction of a happier and healthier you.
Whether you choose to come in together, you begin by making a commitment to each other to find a more peaceful solution to the endless fighting and bickering. I will guide you as a coach, therapist and healer in figuring out ways you are destroying the relationship and more importantly making small changes that will turn things around. I can believe healing can both take time as well as happen immediately.
how does couple’s therapy work?
I begin couple’s therapy with an assessment of what the couple’s negative cycle of connection is. I meet with the couple together and we talk about where you are in the relationship and how you got here. After the first session, I meet with each person individually to obtain their histories and learn about their attachment style. After learning about each individual, we come back together and create a plan of healing.
After scheduling your first session, you will receive some consent forms to complete online.
With this type of technique (EFT), we focus on learning the couple’s negative cycle and then teaching the couple on how to Tango instead. Tango is a type of dance that involves real attunement and attention to each other. The goal of a relationship is that a couple can be in-tune with each other’s needs and be there for each other and hence making their own unique spectacular “Tango dance.” Thus we create a positive cycle of connection.
What happens during therapy?
The first few sessions are about building safety and a connection between the couple and myself. I will be getting to know you, your personalities, your quirks and what makes you tick. I will also be learning about your family of origin and how they impacted you and your relationship.
I will also begin to introduce a type of therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT is a therapy that is evidence based and was founded by Sue Johnson PhD, a researcher and therapist. During the 70s and 80s where psychologists were asking the question of what keeps a lasting relationship, she wanted to know what would create lasting healing that would sustain outside of the therapy room.
What else should I be prepared for?
Sometimes things get worse before they get better. When you have let past hurts build up into resentment, you cannot expect one session to undo that pain. Healing will take time. If you want to help “jump start” your healing journey and you have the time and resources available, you can consider my intensive couples therapy session to begin with and then continue with weekly sessions.
If one or both individuals have a history of trauma that has not been resolved and is getting in the way of therapy, often I will recommend doing trauma work in conjunction with couples therapy. I specialize in a trauma technique called EMDR that is especially helpful in treating all kinds of trauma.
Intensive Couples Therapy
Intensive couples therapy is an option for couples that have been in crisis for a long time. They have let years of hurt build up without finding resolution.
When you’ve had years and years of hurt accumulated, beginning therapy at a weekly pace can feel too slow. Instead of bringing hope, it can increase your feeling of hopelessness.
Intensive couples therapy is where we meet for a weekend or several days during the week for 6-8 hours (with breaks) to tackle all the skeletons that have accumulated in your relationship history.
We take time to address each issue and unpack the layers of hurts. This allows a couple to really be heard and seen without having to worry about the clock hour ticking away.
Although the cost is greater for an intensive session, the investment could save your marriage and a lifetime of savings!
More Services Available
Following are some of the services I provide. If you have more questions about how I can support your healing journey, please reach out by scheduling a free consultation call.
Parent/Child Conflict & Childhood Trauma
Sexual Abuse and Trauma
Singles Navigating Life as Adults
EMDR Trauma Treatment
Help for Anxiety
Dealing with Intense Emotions
Somatic and Mindfulness Based Healing
Get in Touch with Me!
My office is located in Falls Church, Virginia where I see clients in person.
I am licenced to provide therapy in the states of Virginia, District of Columbia, Maryland and Texas.
For all other states and countries, I provide therapeutic coaching services.